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Wow! Today is the last day in July. Why do I always feel or make myself feel guilty when I decide not to do something. I did tell Josephine that I might come out to VBS on Wednesday and Thursday, but I decided not to go. I received a call from her and she was very very upset. She wanted to know if I would be there on Thursday to help with the crafts. I don't know if I'll make it because I'm helping my son with WP1. I assisted with gathering materials for the crafts, but I did not commit to being there to do the crafts. I know she was trying to get me to be in charge but that's not what I wanted to do. Now, I'm feeling guilty. I should have gone last night. Why do I do this to myself? I have to let go and let God. I can't do everything. I know I use to try to please everyone but I can't. It didn't make me happy. Instead I would complain about having to do it.

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I'm so thankful that Penn and I are talking now. I'm thankful that he shared what's happening with his health. I prayer that God will be with his doctors, so they will always prescribe the correct medicine for him. I have to stay in touch with him. I don't want to be a PITA. I just want to be there for him.

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I pray that God will keep my nephew safe while he goes through this season of his. I am so thankful that my youngest son is going to finally marry his girl friend. They have been together for such a long time. I pray their union be blessed and strengthened.

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Thank you God for all of the people you send my way (family, friends, acquaintances). This is the day that the Lord has made, I will be glad and rejoice in it.

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Thank you God for another day of movement, sound mind, and hope. I felt very sad today. Maybe I'm contradicting myself because I felt lonely; yet I had my sister with me. I felt lonely because I was in need of a hug, kiss, a touch. I called my sons and they were all with their families. I had no one to talk to. I shouldn't say that because I did have my sister, but it's hard to talk to her because she doesn't give me the feedback that I need. Let Go and Let God. In his time I won't feel this way.

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Thank God for another day. I'm up and moving forward. He continues to direct my path. Letting go; slowly but surely.

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Up earlier than I've been in a long time. I had to put out the donation pick up for LFA (Lupus Foundation of America). I cleaned out my closet and bookshelf; packed up everything yesterday and set it out in the driveway this morning. I'm working on de-cluttering my life, and I have to start with my house first. My dreams are still strange and at times I can't remember them, but I feel good. Praying everyday for God's guidance. Trusting Him to take care of what I need; at least I'm trying very hard to do that. I thank God for how he is moving in my life. I have to continue to pray for myself and my family (this includes all of my friends too).