Afternoon Pages 7714

One more day and it's my Charles' birthday. He will be twenty-nine. I was twenty-nine years old when I had him. His father's birthday was the first of July. I feel like I'm going backward again. I take one  step forward and then two steps back. I'm dreaming crazy dreams about Bill. Things that will never happen. I have to Let Go and Let God. I'm really trying not to sweat the small stuff. Oh God please HELP me! I know I have to TRUST YOU!!