Morning Pages 51114

THIS IS THE DAY THAT THE LORD HAS MADE I WILL REJOICE AND BE GLAD IN IT!

Morning Pages 51014

I think I'm sleeping too much. Since I've been back I feel tired so I sleep longer. I'm not sure if that's good. I don't know what's going on in my head. I had a dream about a wedding. It was a young couple but it was a different ethnicity wedding. Yet, I thought I was really dreaming about my youngest son and his girl friend. My words are not here today. I have to speak up and speak out when I don't want to do something. I have to say no when I don't want to do something. I have to stop worrying about how others will always feel. Stop putting myself out there and then regretting it later. Yes, I don't mind helping but then I feel obligated to always be the one to do it. Again, that's the control freak in me, and then I'm not happy. I don't want to be responsible for others. I just want to help myself right now. I'm not talking about my grandchildren because they have their parents. I'm just there when they need me to step in and watch the kids. I'm there to love them and spoil them. I'm talking about taking care of my sister now. I don't really want that responsibility. I know she's getting what she needs by being here with me but I don't want to do it all the time. Then I think to myself why not be there for her. She needs to have the best quality of life she deserves. We all should have the best quality of life that we can have.   I enjoy volunteering and working with my quilt buddies. This give me something to do, and I'm interacting with some sharp, fun, and friendly women. Thank you God for this season.

Morning Pages 5914

Sometimes we want to try to change the world, but it's really not up to us to make these changes. I truly believe that the more we pray and ask God to show us what we must do. Let go and let God! You can't change people if they don't want to be helped.

Morning Pages 5814

Didn't get to blog today, but I wanted to post the date.

Morning Pages 5714

Feeling a little overwhelmed. I have triple duty today. I have my grandson and I have to take my mom to the doctor. I feel I can do it but I know it will be a tremendous task. I forgot that she had an appointment today. I was trying to see who I could get to take her but there was no one available. My other sisters and brother are working. So right now I'm left with the task. I'm going to leave Fajer at home. I pray this is the right thing to do. I feel tired and I've only been home five days. I'm always trying to please someone or extend my time. I really have to stop doing that. I don't mind but then I'm feeling some sort of way after I say yes. I need a little loving; that's all I need. Someone to rub my back and caress my body, and I'll do the same. Oh well, I haven't too many thoughts flowing in my head. I think I'm going to stop writing my morning pages for awhile. Not sure yet! Until tomorrow. . . Thank God for another beautiful day.

Morning Pages 5614

I went to bed after the channel two news, but I wasn't feeling the same as I did while I was away. I had thoughts of intimacy and needed to be held and loved. I knew this was not going to happen. I wanted it so much but didn't pleasure myself. I went to sleep. I was up several times during the night because I drank too much water.

Morning Pages 5514

I did it! I went on a nine day cruise. At first I didn't want to go because I thought I had so much to take care of; that's the control freak in me, but after planning with my sister Debbie and getting things in order. She took care of everything. I was able to relax and enjoy myself. I am so thankful that I worked smarter and not harder and was able to relax.