Morning Pages 42114

Yesterday was a beautiful day.  Had a good service and got to see my oldest grandson; looking so spiffy in his three piece suit. He's growing up so fast and he has a great mom and dad. My prayer was that his parents would be together, but that was my prayer and not theirs. Here I go trying to control that situation, but it's not ever going to be that way because they have gone their separate ways and have other people in their life now. This is going to be a busy week for me I leave on the 24th on my cruise. I thank God for how he keeps on blessing me. I thank God for my family; immediate and extended. My prayers go out this morning to my family in Virginia, Omaha, East Orange, South Orange, Hillside, Jersey City, Newark, Cherry Hill, Elizabeth, Maplewood, Watchung, Somerville, Pennsylvania, Maryland, Chicago, Bloomfield, Alabama, Florida, Willingboro, South Jersey, and Lord if I've missed anyone please continue to put a hedge of protection around them. I send out a special prayer for Raymond and Cecil please watch over their going out and coming in. I woke up to a beautiful text message. It made my spirit smile. Thank you God for sending your Son to die for my sins and the sins of the world.

Morning Pages 42014

After my walk yesterday I did nothing. I felt as though I didn't need to rush yet I do. I have to make sure I have everything I'm going to need for my trip. I can't believe it's here. The week of the trip. I will be cruising on the 24th. I'm so glad and yet scared at the same time. I've never been on a ship. Oh Boy! My dream last night was about Peen. I can't remember all the details, but I know he was in it. Why am I looking for the impossible to happen. I know God knows what's best for all of us; especially me. I thought I stopped hoping and started letting God take over. I am so thankful for all that I have been given, and I hope I have learned something from all of my seasons. I hope I have really learned something and not just to be bitter because things didn't work out for me. I can't hold on to those negative feelings. Those should've, could've, would've feelings!, and What if? Let Go and Let God!

Evening Pages 41914

Procrastinating! I have to pack and I'm wasting time. Why? What am I afraid of?

Morning Pages 41814

Woke up late, and started off slow. I have to get everything ready for Sunday. I had a strange dream , but I can't remember everything. I do remember seeing Penn in my dream. Not sure why I was thinking about him. I hope he's okay. I have to call Frances and thank her for my card. I love that she remembers me and sends me cards through out the year. I was feeling very anxious last week concerning my trip, but now I'm just waiting patiently for that day. I think I'm starting to let go things and when I don't I've been asking myself what or why am I worried about that. Or that it doesn't really concern me. I have to stop trying to control everything. The one thing I have to do is clean up my apartment. I'm letting it go again. The walls are closing in on me. I have things everywhere again. Thank you God for keeping my family safe and for giving all of us what we need. You keep on blessing me and I thank you!

Morning Pages 41714

I haven't blogged for several days now.

Late Morning Pages 41614

I got up late, but just in time for WP2. I didn't take time to blog.

Afternoon Pages 41514

I'm trying to decide if I need to continue blogging. My mom found out that I was going on vacation. I wasn't trying to keep it from her. I just wanted to wait until it was closer to my time to leave. She found out because one of my sister's told her. It was a big secret but I know she felt hurt that I didn't tell her. Then I got some feeling of guilt. I was wondering why I was feeling this way. Why am I feeling guilty or like I did something to her? Now I wanted to do something for her to make her feel better. I thought about it and I didn't really do anything wrong. I just didn't tell her first or sooner. I have to also be considerate to myself. I'm always thinking about how someone else will feel; not that I don't care but I have to also think about myself.