Morning Pages 21914

God is so good, and I thank Him for his Love and Mercy. My son fell down the stairs last night. He didn't see the layer of ice that was on the steps. He hit his arm and hip area. He's sore and in a little pain. I suggested that he go to the emergency room, but he wants to try to rest and see if the pain will ease up. I was scheduled to take my car for an oil change, but I cancelled the appointment because Will text me this morning because he needed me to take WP1 to school. God is so good because He had already put it in my mind last night that I was going to take WP1 to school. I have to stop and think about God's goodness. I know things could have been worse for my son, but it wasn't. After this occurred I went to my quilt session; late but I needed to be there I had to vent. It seemed as though everything or I should say little obstacles were getting in my way. I knew what I had to do, but other things were rearing their ugly heads. I'm just so thankful that I can help my children when they need my services. I am so thankful that I am retired from one occupation and moved into another. I never know what God has in store for me, but I try to be available when He calls. I haven't said anything to my sister but I'm going to take her to get her hair done today. I don't mean to be rude or nasty to my mom but she just annoys me to no end. I realize that she's in the house all day; her choice. When and if she wanted to go out all she has to do is ask, but I want her to tell me where she would like to go. I also want her to realize that I don't have money to give her or spend on her. She has to stop looking for me to always provide her with things. I know I started out giving her while she was with my brother and still recuperating. But I had to stop that. I have no money and my credit cards are maxed out. I know I did this and she's not the blame but now she has to know that I can't do it anymore. I know we are to honor our parents and I do try to live by this but sometimes my mom doesn't honor her children. I got up early and got dressed so I could get WP1 to school. I stopped at BK and got him his favorite fast food breakfast. Chicken and biscuit with an orange juice. I do feel bad that I'm filling him up with processed foods, but it is so convenient. WP1 didn't complete all of his homework so he had to do it during morning care. I told him to focus and get it done. I hope he does. I try not to be so hard on WP1 but he's just so unfocused. I don't know if it's because he's with his dad one week and then his mom the next. This goes on throughout the month. Then holidays and summer is something different. I really think he should be in one place now, so he can focus on school and growing up. I know I'm only grandma, but sometimes I wish I could keep him so he's stable and not all over the place. A set of rules here and a set there; so confusing for a young child. Well that's another situation that's not mine but I think about it all the time. He's struggling in school, he wants to be a family, but he feels detached. He wants his parents to be together but that's never going to happen. As he gets older his feelings come out more and more. He wanted to know why his parents weren't together. He wanted to know if they were happy when they were together. So much going through his little head. So much going through my head too. Once again that's where that control comes in. I want to be able to control this situation and I can't. I'm not suppose to. all I can do is support my grandson and his parents when I can. Enough said . . . Until tomorrow . . . God's grace is sufficient.