Morning Pages 2714

Crazy dreams, filled with violence, sex, and anger. I went in and out of the same dream. Really strange, I can't remember it, yet I see people; men especially. I remember a fight happening in a public bathroom. I kept trying to get someone to help the person being beaten. I stayed up late and had to get up early to be ready for my grandson. I get angry with myself because I don't go to bed on time, and then I get annoyed because my sister sleeps until eleven.  At times I don't care if she sleeps late and then other times I get angry because she can. I'm not sure if I've created a monster because she does nothing, so why should she be tired. Then I realize that even when she does things I have to go behind her and straighten them out. I just woke her up and because of her response to me I got a little angry and told her that she will be going to be early because she doesn't like to get up early. I know this was really foolish of me. Then she just sits on the bed after I started the shower for her. I told her she had to come and get her new bar of soap. I think all of this anger I have is really about how I'm feeling about myself. I am not doing what I'm suppose to be doing. I didn't cook yesterday, but I did complete the wash. Instead of doing what I had on my list. I took my other sister shopping so she and our mom would have food for the next two weeks. I did knit before I went to bed. That's another thing that kept me up late. I was trying to catch up on what I hadn't done. I didn't work on any of my other projects. Yesterday was a good day. I just didn't open up the whole gift. I'm going to try it again today.