Morning Pages 22514

Up early, getting ready for the dentist. I dread going but I know I have to take care of my teeth. I don't have a mouth full anymore so the few I have I need to keep them. I was compelled to make Hope a scarf and hat. I bought some yarn on Saturday and decided I would use that, so last night as my sister and I watched television I began to make a hat and then I started on a scarf. Of course I stayed up until midnight trying to finish the scarf. The pattern I chose to make for the scarf was very time consuming and it used a lot of yarn, but I wanted to use that particular pattern. Oh well, it will take all day today to finish. I've been thinking about my son's parenting skills and I realize that he learned what he lived. Although he is doing a great deal better he's still leaving out the most important part. The love and time you put into it. The quality not the quantity is so important. I put my phone on vibrate when I was in the library yesterday and forgot to turn it back on. I had missed ten calls; eight of them from my mother. I tell you if she really wanted to get in touch with me she should have called the house phone; Charles did. I sit here watching my sister go through her daily routine. The same old thing day in and day out, and then there are times when she flips the script and she hasn't a clue as to what to do first. It's very interesting how the mind works. I weighed myself this morning without clothes on. The numbers on the scale were scary. I weigh two hundred twelve pounds. That's terrible! I've gained twenty-five pounds in a year. I allowed my frustrations and angry to cause me to eat like a banshee. It's getting closer to eight o'clock, time to put on my shoes and get out of here. I have to be a doer of the word and not just a hearer. I have to want to take care of me! and not let my circumstances or environment dictate how or what I do for my existence. I keep telling myself that everyday is a gift, so open it up and use it, but sometimes I don't think I truly believe it myself. Enough said . . . Until tomorrow . . .