Morning Pages 13014

Wow! I text my son yesterday and he responded. I guess it was time or maybe he got tired of people trying to reach him. Once again that's neither here nor there. You can't take the world and try to carry it on your shoulders. I lay in my bed trying to sleep. I think I get sleep but then it feels as though I'm dreaming or thinking all through the night. Then the darn cat is scratching at the door. then I'm thinking about what I have to do. Today is doctor day. Appointments aren't too early but nevertheless I still have to get up and get ready. I did absolutely nothing yesterday. And I feel annoyed with myself. How am I going to make changes and get things done if I don't follow through. I rolled my sister's hair because I decided not to take her to the hairdresser. Then I wondered to myself how long will this go on. I have to maintain her appearance because she will not do it herself. She ties but doesn't hit the mark. It's cold outside but not like yesterday. It was about nine degrees yesterday. Boy, was that cold! This winter is going to be a doozie. I watched the news and two of the warmer states had bad snow storms that shut down their cities. My day started out good and then I went into the basement to wash clothes and was greeted by a wild bird flying around. Of course I was frightened. I threw my bag in the corner and ran out. I waited for my neighbor to return and I let him know about the bird. This changed my whole day. Why I haven't the foggiest idea, but it did? I didn't wash dishes last night. I watched the boob tube and got nothing done. I didn't sew. I should've finished my Big Bag, but I didn't. Excuses, excuses, excuses! There's no reason for doing nothing. I guess I was in a funk! I could use a little nukie or something to pull me out of this slump but I don't even have that. It's been so long I don't remember how many years it's been. I'm a reborn virgin. I don't even know what it feels like to make love or be loved. That's how long it's been. Oh well! Whose fault is that? Mine of course. I Need It!! Until tomorrow . . .